Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Common sense 101 - vegetable peeling

Is it so hard to peel a potato? Or a carrot? Or an apple? Didn't everyone learn how to do this when they were growing up?

Obviously not.

Is this implement, the vegetable peeler, such a complex tool that one needs a three credit course in how to use it?

It comes as a great surprise that employees, some in their mid 20's, do not know how to use a vegetable peeler. It shouldn't take five minutes to peel a carrot. There shouldn't be peel left of the vegetable when it's "done". This is not one person, or two, it's more than that. It's a growing trend that seems to be taking over the world.

It's painful watching them struggle with this complex tool. And then, you show them how to do it. You hand it over. You watch for one carrot; they seem ok. You come back later to find the poor vegetable either hacked to death or left with a complexion that only a hungry dermatologist would love.

It makes me wonder what other common sense things that young people were not taught.

At least I'm glad they were (mostly) taught to bathe.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Common sense 101 - the college course

In every college, there should be a mandatory course called common sense 101. One cannot graduate unless it is completed with at least a grade of B or above.

The course is all-lab.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

No credit.

No credit. No way. No how. Not to anyone.

This doesn't mean me, does it?

Yes, it does. You're the reason we made this policy.

But if only I could get a pack of smokes today and pay you next month when my check comes in.

If only....you had ears to hear the answer is still no.

I know the owner and we've got an understanding.

I AM the owner, have been so for well over a year and a half. The only word you need to understand is no.

I've got a sheet going.

A rap sheet? That wouldn't surprise me.

I'll go right home and come right back with the money.

That's good. Your order will be waiting here for you to pick up when you bring back all the money.

I'm good for it.

"It" doesn't pay my bills. I need cash. When I see the cash, you'll have the goods.

Call the owner and ask them if I could have credit. They know me.

Do NOT ask my employees to give you credit, and do NOT ask them to call the "owner" at home to find out if it's ok. Why don't you give me your boss' phone number and I'll call them to ask when you get paid.

I keep you in business.

Yup, uh-huh. I can't pay my suppliers, employees, landlord, utilities and the IRS with your word. Words and promises don't keep me in business, cash does.

I'm not coming back.

Thank you.

...and it's your loss.

I've won.